Monday, April 27, 2009

My Life According to Candles

Let the blog-in begin!

My very first guest blogger of this week's blog-in is Cheryl Phillips of Cheryl is a freelance writer, single mom of five and lives life without a filter on her mouth. On her blog, The Daily Blonde, Cheryl posts her commentary on daily life without sugar coating. She is currently in an intense love affair with Twitter. Cheryl believes that laughing prevents wrinkles, chocolate solves most problems and growing up is over-rated.

Take it away, Cheryl!

I am a self professed candle addict and I can't walk by a candle store without going in to take a look. Who am I kidding? I never just look. I always need one more candle that makes my home smell like I just baked an apple pie. With all the candle scents that have been created, I thought about coming up with my own. Not sure if there'd be any best sellers in there but we all can't have a candle called "Paradise" burning all the time.

Morning Breakfast This scent is reminiscent of many rushed mornings and has a blend of sweet, sugary cereal and spilled milk. There is a slight, citrusy hint of orange juice..not too much, but just enough to make you remember how kids never seem to finish what's in their cup.

Home From School Sick An overpowering aroma of "someone's faking it" followed by the sweet smell of "sorry, you can't go out later and play with your friends".

Adult Sick Day Light and breezy with the scent of coconut tanning oil and the warmth of abundant sunshine.

Ex-Husband This passive-aggressive aroma sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Typically on the Saturday night you finally have plans and he needs to switch weekends. It almost smells like lilacs and daisies for a moment, but then the unmistakable aroma of my life is far more important than yours follows you for hours til it evolves into pizza and juice boxes.

Cat Pan No matter how hard you try, this scent is always one poop ahead of your scoop. The minute you smell the waft of that nice, clean kitty litter, you'll be overcome with the nauseating smell of the result of your cat eating ocean fresh white fish in a rich, nasty gravy.

Hot Buttered Bank Teller So perfectly tan and perky but then there are those occasional moody undertones of "I'm sorry, those funds aren't available yet."

Bitchy Day Smells like the moment after you leave the Hot Buttered Bank Teller with no money.

Going Broke Our most popular candle, it comes with a completely burnt out wick.

Broken Scale A sweet combination of chocolate ice cream, Snickers bars and all things chocolate.

School Project This scent will remind you of the stale smell of Office Maxx combined with a hint of Elmer's Glue. This candle will typically be lit at the last minute or when all the stores are closed and the project is due the next morning.

Purple Laundry A lovely lavender color that seeps all over everything that was white to begin with. The scent of a child's grape lip gloss fragrantly reminds you to clean out the pockets of all of your children's clothing.

I Just Mopped The Floor That unmistakably glorious lemon fresh smell that you worked so hard to enjoy....followed by undertones of dripping juice boxes and muddy feet. Perfect during summer vacation.

Kid's Bedtime Part fruity shampoo scented hair, part favorite old blankie and a good book. It smells like comfort and sweet dreams.

Want more of The Daily Blonde? Don't miss her next guest post tomorrow over at!

Where's Jackie? She's Aging Backwards! See what she has to say about that!


The Daily Blonde said...

Thanks for having me's like being on vacation this week traveling from blog to blog!!

Have a great day!

Tisra said...

Completely funny. My favorite is the bedtime routine candle. I love clean children's locks and lots of cuddles!

Suzanne said...

Fun ideas! I'd pick up a Purple Laundry right away. Not only would it help ease the burden of all those dirty loads of laundry it would go great while I'm listening to my fave mp3's from Purple Rain.

Anonymous said...

Who knew candle scents could be so funny?

Of course Cheryl did!

Great and funny post Cheryl! LOL

momwithfaithandhope said...

Where do I buy "I just mopped the floor" - only request would be it be laced with the smell of peanut butter and Ritz cracker crumbs???

Do you sell a life-time supply of bedtime routine candles?? Even if it aint happenin' I could at least pretend!

Kathy Harding said...

Too funny. As a candle lover myself, I really enjoyed this!

gabbricha said...

Hey I don't sell anything like this! Gonna have to put in a request with corporate. Lol

t said...

Gabriccha...I'll back you up on that....but your candles smell ohhh so good :)

Pam said...

Too Funny, I've actually picked up the Apple Pie scented candle, seeing it's the only way that smell will ever come from my kitchen. More accurate would be an apple pie candle with a "burnt smell" chaser.

Love the kitty litter one! My cat takes evil glee in christening a clean litter box.

RP Mom said...

Very very funny!!!!!

JackieMacD said...

Thanks Cheryl! Your posts are like an online version of a night out with girlfriends. Love it!