Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Every Day is Valentine’s Day

Meet my next blog-in guest blogger Charles Orlando of TheProblemisMen.com!

Charles Orlando is a life coach and the author of "The Problem with Women... is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness". When he's not cooking his wife breakfast-in-bed or playing Guitar Hero with his kids, he can be found blogging at

I often hear women complain that romance is dead… and based on what I’ve observed, I must agree (GENERALLY, as I am well aware that there are some great men out there that do more than there part in the romance department). Where is it written that romance is only left for Valentine’s Day? Here’s some statistics that might wake you up:

Divorces in the domestic United States have been steadily on the rise.

  • 19.5 million adults have been divorced at least once.*
  • 50% of all marriages end in divorce within five years.**
  • Of the couples that last five years, only 50% make it to their 10th wedding anniversary***
  • 80% of divorcees reference “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for separation.***

And the children in these failed relationships are worse off. Broken (divorced) homes account for:

  • 63% of youth suicides****
  • 90% of homeless/runaway children****
  • 85% of children with behavior problems****
  • 71% of high school dropouts****
  • 85% of youths in prison****
  • Over 50% of teen mothers****

Clearly many couples have missed the boat in finding togetherness, mutual respect and partnership. So, why not keep the connection and make every day as romantic as Valentine’s Day? Women should be doing their part, too… but let’s talk about the men. Maybe it sounds trite, but each day offers an opportunity to show the lady in your life how much you adore her. It's not about running to the store for candy or the latest trinket... it's about affecting the woman in your life... and the way she feels about herself. When a man pulls out a chair for a woman, it isn’t what he did that impressed her (although they both may think it is). For that moment in time, she feels that she matters, like the world revolves around her. It is that feeling that makes the difference... and offers the perfect opportunity for a man to show he cares. It's not the monetary value of the gift (at least for most women, and especially in this economy)... it's uniqueness that counts. Something memorable, something special... something that is only for her.

I conducted an informal survey on my website to see if this approach was the "right" one, and the results were interesting. Of the 250 women polled, 60% craved something romantic in their relationships (love letter, poem, dinner out), and 28% were looking for a “gift” that was unique (time away from kids, massage). That equates to 88% looking for more of a connection with their partner (only 4% wanted something material—jewelry, candy, flowers, etc.). In short, it's uniqueness and an intimate connection that counts... in any economy. Pressure to buy big-ticket items is generally false... as women are looking for more than just something store-bought.

Love Charles? Check him out tomorrow on agingbackwards.com!

Where's Jackie today? Giving her thoughts on single parenting at


gabbricha said...

I've been married nearly 22 years, and with 3 kids the thing I value most is a few moments alone with my hubby. We've found it works best when we carve out that time, rather than wait for an opportunity. Thanks for the great post Charles!

JackieMacD said...

SO nice to hear a guy say what we've discovered in this house. Just this week we were tested again, and because we had spent a night out with just each other, we were able to get through it even better. When we're on the same team, we're unstoppable.

Thank you, Charles!