Thursday, March 31, 2011

Top 10 Pet Peeves

We're all peeved by something (or someone). But can we learn from those little annoyances and become stronger, more patient, accepting people? Maybe. And maybe not.

Keep reading to see the lesson I've learned from My Top 10 Pet Peeves...

#10 Talking about people like they're food. 'Yummy' is totally fine when you're scraping that last bite from a dish of creme brulee at the end of a delicious meal, but really, ladies? Do we have to use terms like 'yummy' when referring to a grown man? This peeve also goes for tasty, delish and any other mouthwatering synonym.

#9 "Hot" Moms Can you imagine a bunch of 20-something single girls referring to themselves the way moms do? Hot Moms Club, MILFs and other monikers moms go by these days are just a little bit creepy. Just as it was before you were a mom, if you have to label yourself as one... chances are, you're not really feeling like one.

#8 Snorting. (Sorry, Kim) Whether laughing, frustrated, being sarcastic or even sleeping... that little noise that comes out of your nose... Can you make it stop?

#7 Mouth noises. It's like snorting adjacent. When I'm at the movies and a scene comes on where the couple is getting all into each other, the mere sound of their mouths sends me over the edge and makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

#6 "No offense" This phrase is similar to its cousin phrase "I'm just playing devil's advocate." Have you noticed that most sentences that start with these words are often exactly that -- offensive, mean, judgmental and just plain rude.

#5 Pets Okay, not really... I like pets. But those pet owners who let their dog sniff on up in the private areas of friends and strangers -- ugh. And why should I feel like an ass because I don't think it's cute when your animal rubs its tongue on my hands, toes, or anywhere within 10 yards of my face? I don't blame the little furry friends... they're just doing what they know best. But when my kid screams in terror, even though your dog is smaller than a Zhu Zhu Pet, it's not cool to keep trying to get her over it. She doesn't want to pet him.

#4 Judgy/Catty/Mean Moms We're all busy. Whether you've got one kid, 50 kids, run a Fortune 500 company, a Girl Scout Troop or spend the day eating Bon Bons, it's not my place to determine what you should be doing or force my own expectations on another. But it's not your place either. And just because you like to spend 50 hours a week sewing costumes for whatever activity needs costumes that week, it doesn't mean I want to join you. And if another mom can't fit a 20 minute play date into your perfectly planned schedule, don't get your panties in a wad.  Live your life, raise your kids, mind your business. We'll all be happier.

#3 Shush I once stopped dating a guy for shushing me in a restaurant. In hindsight, I was probably being a little rambunctious -- we were having a lot of laughs and I tend to get caught up in the moment. But shushing another person sends the message that what they're saying is not important and that you're in charge of their behavior. Last time I checked, I am an adult. Go ahead and shush me, but I might exercise my right to be rude and throw you in a headlock under the table.

#2 Technology You don't have to be that old to remember a time when there was no call waiting, answering machines, cell phones or texting. If you tried to call someone and they weren't home, you tried back again later. If it rang busy, you'd have to try again and they would continue enjoying the call they were on. And, believe it or not, if you went out with the family, were having dinner or just wanted to have some peace and quiet, people didn't get ticked off that you didn't answer a text within two minutes and no one called the police to put out an APB for an unanswered Facebook status update.

#1 The biggest pet peeve I have is people who say they'll do something and never actually do it. So, in celebration of this peeve, I want to know What Is Your Biggest Pet Peeve?

And finally, what's the lesson in all this complaining? The world will always be filled with hot moms who snort and make mouth noises while talking about people like they're food. They'll say "no offense" before offending you, let their dogs eat a hole in your pants, shush you and judge you as they text you to death. And there's not a darn thing you can do about it but turn to your readers and vent.

So today's lesson is that I don't know what I would do without you. Thanks for reading. xo


Unknown said...

Pet Peeves are great and my #1 is also the same, I say don't say your going to do then people won't put an expectation on you. Then if you actually just decided to do something for someone it's nice to surprise them. Otherwise, as I say and tell my children, say what you mean, mean what you say and follow through on it. You want people to know that you are a person of your word!
Thanks for sharing.....

Anonymous said...

What a YUMMY post from a a hot MILF... lol