Sunday, April 18, 2010

T-Ball Dropout

Like most moms, I can get overwhelmed. There are times during the week when I think I'm doing it all wrong and wonder how I got myself so far in over my head. There are moments -- sometimes days -- where self-doubt gets me down and I feel like my kids suffer from my inability to go with the flow.

T-Ball is one of those times.

My boys just joined the city's t-ball league. When the city called and said no one was interested in coaching, I went against all common sense and agreed to be an assistant coach. I wondered how I would truly be able to pull it all off, with two boys on the team and my active daughter at every practice. My four-year-old loves baseball so much that he's been talking about joining the team for an entire year so how could I say no?

But my five-year-old? Not so much. Last year, t-ball proved to be too overwhelming for our son who's on the autism spectrum. This year, we gave him the choice of playing or not when we were signing up his brother. He wanted in so we went for it.

Trying to help him catch, throw, bat and run is a full-time job. But I refuse as a mom to just give up. It's my job to help him work through it, even when I feel like I can't do it another second. Practice for me, is a very charged, stressful hour where I'm trying to do the best I can. My three-year-old daughter loves to take advantage of my distraction and my inability to grab her by climbing fences, jumping off bleachers and digging through the dirt.

Game day is much better, with help from Dad. We take turns helping the kids line up, joining them in the field and whatever else the coach needs. Or so I thought.

Yesterday, during Picture Day, I went to help out getting the kids ready for the photo op. The coach let me know she could do it and took over. She and the other assistant coach, dressed in team jerseys, lined the kids up and joined them in the team photo. I was surprised that I wasn't included but I shrugged it off.

This morning, as I went onto the team Website to see the photos from yesterday, my contact info as assistant coach was gone. It's obvious that there had been changes made yet no one even took a second to talk to me about their feelings or concerns. I probably shouldn't even care but I'm extremely hurt that another mom could just disregard me by making such a statement with no communication. I emailed her to find out what's going on but haven't yet heard back.

What would you do?