Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Does Eating Your Words Make You Fat?

I wrote this a couple of years back and thought it could be worth sharing. Makes me wonder, which was I more in denial about -- driving a minivan or adding to our brood?

"Just four short years ago, a friend of mine told me she was minivan shopping. 'Do NOT become one of those moms!' I half-jokingly argued with her.

Fast forward three years later. There I sat, along with my husband and two boys under two, signing the paperwork for our brand-spankin’-new, silver Honda Odyssey Touring model. It's been exactly one year that I've been driving the "Hotyssey," as I so lovingly refer to it because, in it, I am the hottest mom out there. I have to skip the hairspray because I. am. just. so. on. fire.

GPS, DVD, sensors that keep me from squishing little boys in the doors, a rear camera so I can ALWAYS see what's behind me, enough room that, if I chose to but I won't, had three more kids, I could still toss 'em in the back and drive forever while they… wait for it… PLAY VIDEO GAMES! It's true. Sometimes I think my husband would rather be a kid and climb back there himself.

Recently, the hubby and I went furniture shopping and, by the end of the day, our minivan was packed with two kids, an over-sized living room chair, a double jogging stroller, and at least five shopping bags. We still had plenty of room! There are people in New York who can fit less stuff in their apartments. We could fit like 150 clowns in our car!

But it wasn't always smooth mini-vanning. When we first got the car, I found myself trying to hide if I was driving without the kids in the car with me. I don't suggest ducking down while going 30 mph. It makes it tough to drink your coffee and chat on your cell. (kidding, people) When you've got a brood to cruise with, the ride is sweet. But a mom trying to hold on to her "I used to have a cool car" former self, is useless when driving the MV. Although my childless girlfriends didn't seem to make fun of me when I was the driver of their six drunk asses on a rare girls' night out.

I love my Honda Odyssey! There, I said it.

8 comments:

The Family K. said...

I know my life has changed drastically when I start to admire other people's minivans. I don't have one yet, but I've got my eye on one. What have we become?

Paula Perry said...

So i'm confused? did you just get a mini van? but then why do you say 2 boys..no girl? so i figure the whole thing was written 4 years ago....if so are you eating your words as you now think it's a terrible idea to have a mini van? (with 3 kids i wouldn't blame anyone for having to use a mini van)...anyway, I'm sorry i'm sleep deprived. i'll try reading it again tomorrow, maybe i missed something.

Jackie said...

Paula, it's not you! I shouldn't post things in the middle of the night and expect everyone to follow around. I wrote it two years ago... so a lot has changed all around!

Jennie said...

Damn straight, my Odyssey-drivin' sistah! After driving a 23 year old Vanagon (whom I still mourn), I am slowly adjusting to life in the anonymous lane. But I love my new minivan. It's the mom who brings the sexy back, not the car she drives.

momwithfaithandhope said...

From one MV drivin' mom to another - I must say, I, too, love my MV. And I once said, I'd NEVER drive one. I'd stick to an SUV I said. Needless to say, when your a raging 5'1", with the extra lift of a carseat, or trying to load a stroller, or better yet, trying to do a Nordie's run in tight spaces - the MV is the BEST - sliding doors, automatic "trunk" for ease of diaper changes and bag drops, and stroller ins and outs. . .who woudln't want one?! I must say, I do hate being passed up on the freeway because the driver behind me "ASSumes" I must be slow driving not-so-hot soccer mama!

Mom to the King and Captain said...

I've always said I would NEVER get a minivan but I find myself really wanting one. They look so cozy! I can't really justify it for only one child though. :(

Expecting Good Things said...

Jackie, you seriously make me laugh a lot when I read your blog. I am in that stage of minivan denial. Every time Bailey opens the door to our Tahoe and there is a car next to us I say "Don't hit the car next... BANG ...to us". ugh! Those sliding doors are so dang tempting. I can't park my boat for the world either. I want a HOTYSSEY!
Holli

Gwen said...

Hey, we own a silver Hotyssey, too! But it's not the touring model-- drat!! I really wanted that rear camera!
The best things about our van are the DVD player AND the automatic sliding doors.
The doors are great for carpool! And I'm now a PROUD mini van owner! Wooo hoo!