Thursday, April 2, 2009

Fantasy VS Reality

I think it was Jacob's first birthday when I really discovered that the way things really go is not how you planned it in your head. When he woke up on that momentous occasion with a crusty nose and fever, uncomfortable and cranky while friends and family celebrated his birth, I knew in my heart that this whole parenting thing wasn't going to go down like I had imagined it would.

Every birthday, Christmas, vacation, and the like has confirmed that theory. While they are all memorable and special, I compare it to trying to get a puppy to sit for a photo shoot... it sounds all cute and precious but chances are you'll end up sweaty and frustrated, up to your elbows in poop.

But it doesn't keep me from finding myself with that glimmer of hope that it will be the magic and memory that I dreamed of when fantasizing of being a mom in my younger days. Case in point, my birthday celebration.

The way it would go in my head:

Jeff takes three kids to pottery place to make handmade goodies for mom to treasure.

Jacob leads the pack in making Mom a homemade cake.

Mom comes home to discover kids and Dad have prepared celebration for her big day.

A baker's age-appropriate beautiful cake -- my favorite Angel Food -- makes Mom tear up.

All of that happened -- check, check, check! But then reality sets in.

A tantrum so severe, it knocks a kid out...

No candles to be found except a random #6... A birthday song without said tantrumer.

Handmade gifts not ready at the store when it was said they would be. In fact, not even ready two days later. It wasn't until Mom gets on the horn during tantrum boy's antics and has 12-year-old worker call owner of the store who calls back and gets an earful from Mom letting owner know she will NOT allow her children to be crying that the gifts they made for Mom aren't ready and the birthday party is ruined. Owner gets the message and finds a friend to deliver said gifts in less than an hour -- crisis averted.

Mom loves gifts from her angels, poses while tantrum boy sleeps unaware that his gift has arrived.

I won't bore you with the details of the dinner filled with "but I wanted THAT" and cups of milk being dumped... and the battle that ensued during pajama time, where tantrum boy awoke to find that the party had gone on without him.

I will just say that Dad, before leaving us all for his 8 hours in the office, found Mom cowering in the corner with the best birthday gift there is -- wine.


Ramona said...

I rarely LOL at a post, but you got me this morning. I feel like I'm there and I'm feeling your humorous pain. What can I say? That's just how it is. That's about as far as my words of wisdom go. "That's just how it is."

LOL, though!!!

Ramona said...

Came back to say, "Happy Birthday!" and ROFL (AGAIN!), especially at the last picture.

Julie T said...

This is too funny, Jackie!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! Last year's birthday was a treat (home broken into, wedding ring stolen, blah blah blah,) and this year's is approaching quickly. Our main issue is that Selby has decided her birthday needs to be soon! And we have 5 months to go. Argh.

The pottery was a great idea. The wine was an even better one!

LinLori said...

Oh, man. I feel you. I've been there and it's insanity at its most beautiful.

Linney said...

Love it! thanks for the post!

momwithfaithandhope said...

LOVE IT! The last picture was classic. . .A girl is entitled to enjoy her birthday however she darn well pleases. Gifts are to treasure - Jeff seriously deserves some "Best DH and MacDaddy" of the world award. Happy, Happy Reality Day!

Our Family said...


Happy Birthday!
Great to see you are all well. It's been ages so it was good to have some time to catch up on your blog a bit. Sierra's been extremely ill, which is why I've suddenly got free time on my hands. Anyway, loved your birthday post and it was great to see the kids!


Nicole said...

oh my gosh-you are TOOOO funny! You are so right! I think wine was invented for SAHM!!! :)

My son too had a tantrum and was so exhausted i told him to go to his room until he could calm down . . . well, 5 minutes later-complete silence-out-under his covers, sleeping like an angel.

Us moms can read these children so well-we just know they're tired and when that tantrum hits-it's night night time!
So, i love the pics of your son crashed on the couch.

And, of course . . . Happy Birthday! :)