Monday, March 23, 2009

Missing Mom

Today, Brady is three days shy of turning 3 1/2. He is exactly the age I was on September 29, 1974 -- the day we lost my mother.

I sat on the edge of my bed this morning studying my little man's face. While he doesn't usually sleep with us, he came in during the wee hours of the morning. Maybe because he missed me and, after coming to the airport late last night, wanted to be reassured that I was really home... or perhaps because he knew that his mom really needed him there. It's hard to fathom how Brady would react if I was suddenly gone. It's even harder to imagine that he could forget the sound of my voice, the way I call him my Bubbakins, our countless giggle fests and the special relationship we share.

While I will do everything in my power to keep Brady, Jacob and Lucy from experiencing such a loss, there's something that's equally important to me -- and that is making sure I am in pictures with my kids, individually and as a group.

Being the eleventh child, you can imagine how difficult it would be to have regular pics with your parents. I have a very limited number with my own mom. When we were united with Lucy, we were relieved and amazed to discover photos of her with her first mom, from two separate occasions. I can only hope that Lucy is as comforted by those photos as I am by the one below of my mother holding me at my christening.


Today, I am issuing this challenge -- STOP what you're doing and grab the camera. Have someone -- anyone -- take a photo of you and your children. Email it to me at jackie@thesilverwhining.com and I will include it in a post later this week, featuring all the beautiful mother and child(ren) photos I receive from readers. And, if you're not a mom... find your own mother and go take a picture! I promise you that you will not only avoid regret, you will have a photo that you can treasure for a lifetime. Whether you send me the photo or not, please take the time to do it for yourself. There's a grown up three year old girl who can tell you, without a doubt, it makes a difference.

RELATED STORY: When Jacob hit the same milestone.

10 comments:

tracy516 said...

I can relate to your story. My cousin died almost two years ago. She was 35 and left behind three children a 4, 8 and 13 year old. My daughter is going on 10 and my son is 2 and I always wonder what would happen if something happened to me. Those are my darkest moments. So I try to live each day as if there where a million more days to come. I hope you do the same.

momwithfaithandhope said...

The title of your post had me hodling back my tears. I think the only reason why I didn't cry was because I'm simply all cried out. What a great concept. Pictures with mom. I had a hard time finding "lots" of pictures of my mom, or "good" pictures of my mom, because like me now, she was always behind the camera. I notied at Disneyland how Jeff was so comfortable with the camera and you seemed so natural just "smiling" for the picture. I'm going to start making an effort to do the same with my Bubba and my Girlfriend. You can count on me to e-mail over a picture! Looking forward to the post! Can't wait to see the ones you pick with each of your precious children.

D said...

Your mother was very beautiful and looks so happy to be holding you. I'm really sorry for your loss. I know that it's been years and years but the pain and missing them never go away. And you are right, it is important to take those pics. I take so many of Nick just himself that I forget to include myself in them. I'm going to do that now. :)

Jeri said...

We started a tradition way back when our first son was born. Every year we take a picture, we try to do it on or near our anniversary, when we consider that our family started. We take a family picture, a picture as a couple, a picture with mom/dad and each child, and a picture of all the kids together. They get their "alone" shots on their birthday. But the annual family pictures are all about the family. So since 1997 we have a picture of me with our son, then our daughter, and now our 2 newest additions this year. We postponed the pictures until we came home with them.
I never thought about taking the picture for any other reason than just so our kids could have them, but now I see there are more reasons to do it. Thanks for the post.

The Family K. said...

Oooh... good reminder. Thanks!

Ramona said...

I think about this more than I should - dying while my children are small and just the thought alone is too much to grasp.

I love this picture of you with your mom and siblings. You can see her love for her littel baby by the way she's looking at you. More than priceless.

VanBurenMom said...

I sent you mine...

Suzanne Eller said...

This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it.

Eva said...

I lost my Dad on June 26, 2008 and even though I'm an "adult" with children of my own I feel like I didn't have enough time. I treasure pictures of him like they are gold. My Mom gave me a few of him as a child and I actually put them away and don't show them to anyone. I think it's one way of keeping a part of him just for me. I'm sorry for your loss.

Dawn said...

Oh how true! My mom died when I was 10 and there aren't a whole lot of pictures of her because she was sick for nearly a decade and didn't like to have her picture taken. Now, I am the photographer in the family and in so few of ours. I will try to get one with my 2 kids tonight.