Saturday, September 13, 2008
First Days at Home...
Here are a few of my favorite pics from Lucy's first days at home. While it may look like a party of five... I feel it's probably a good thing to share with those about to follow the same path, that it's not an immediate 'happily ever after.'
After waiting almost a year to be united with our daughter, you'd think that it would all be the fairy tale ending that we dreamed of. Well, I'm sure it will be. But if you're going to pick up your child, it's best to be aware of some of the challenges. While it was amazing (truly) that Lucy went to Jeff immediately, I wasn't prepared for the way she would respond to me. While we were in Taiwan, if I even walked in the room and she wasn't in the mood, she would scream. Two minutes later, she could be blowing me kisses and waving with that funny little smile... but 30 seconds after that, she could be grabbing Jeff for dear life begging through the tears for me to leave. And I don't think Jeff expected to have a scared, screaming peanut glued to his arms 24 hours a day. Literally, 24. Hours. A Day.
Today, things definitely turned. Lucy played more while we sat nearby... she would come to me if Jeff left the room (before she would actually prefer to stand there shaking with fits of tears and anxiety over allowing me to pick her up). I actually changed her and gave her a bath alone, and she didn't fight me on it. She played with her brothers and explored new rooms——although she continues to get VERY angry when Jeff shows anyone else affection. And her brother B isn't all that thrilled when she gets it either. But today was the first day that I could see that things, indeed, will get better.
I guess the point to sharing it is that parenting is a process, however you become one. For every moment of love, there's another of heartache and pain and fear that you won't get it right. I've been lucky to have other moms reach out and share their own first days so I don't feel so scared and alone. I am truly blessed.
So if you've emailed or called or sent a smoke signal, and haven't heard from us... be patient. We're in lock down mode... just figuring each other out, and doing our best to create a healthy and happy family of five.