Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The "Virtual" Reality...

Virtual Twinning.

It's a term I had never heard before. But as soon as I posted about the potential of adopting an "older" child close in age to one of our little guys, the virtual twinning opinions came oozing out of the woodwork.

Virtual Twins are children very close in age who, although not biologically related, are welcomed into the same family. In many cases, families adopt children at the same time (or even at separate times) who are the same age. Some are 6-8 mos apart but some are even just a few weeks apart. Others (like us) have a biological child or children and then adopt a child the same age as one already at home.

The controversy surrounding virtual twins is enough to make your head spin. I've been warned about competition between kids, jealousy, one feeling the other gets more attention, etc. Uh, isn't that what being a sibling is? We have two boys 16-mos apart and definitely see that with them but they also play and love each other more than anything.

It's given us a lot to think about anyway. But I can't say that if we got a call saying there's a little girl out there who needs us as much as we need her, that we'd be able to turn our backs.

Anyone out there adopt a toddler close in age to a toddler at home? I'd love to hear from you.


The family of six said...

Jackie I have a feeling that a todler adoption is in the cards for you. Maybe your girl will be home sooner than mine! How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tisra said...

I've no personal experience in this, but I would have to say that with all the "risk" and possibility of squabbles or competitiveness comes, also, the greater possibility for closeness of heart, friendship, and camaraderie that many times lacks in sibling relationships where the children are spaced further apart. We have three kids (currently), and the first two are boys and 2.75 years apart. The last one, girl, came just 21 months after her brother. All three get along marvelously (with some fights), but I think a great part of that is age. I will say having so many children so close together can be exhausting on the parents, but I consider that to be a season. The greater picture is the lifetime ahead, and I'm convinced that the bonds will be tighter the closer they are in age. My two cents.

adopting from Taiwan, FFC, girl, on The List 04/2007

Sarah said...

Hi! Just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed your blog and hope that you'll have good news really soon!

Rebecca Lily said...

I'm with you Jackie, on the "virtual twinning" thing. I think it's a bit silly how everyone thinks it "might mean competition between kids and jealousy", etc. Um, I have 4 bio kids ranging from 2-4 years apart and we have all these issues, it's NORMAL sibling stuff. Personally I think it is great to adopt a child close in age with your bio children because I believe it will help "catch them up" developmentally (if they are a little behind because of institutionalization). Of course there will be some ruckus around the house, but with kids, there always is... :)

I've enjoyed your blog - keep us updated!

PAP, on FFC waitlist 9/11/07